Shortly after diagnosing me with an anxiety disorder, it was my psychiatrist’s preliminary order of business to write an order for a hearty dose of a benzodiazepine named klonopin. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. In an effort to attack the anxiety I was experiencing, I agreed to start on the new medication without much resistance.
Klonopin is one of the most popular benzos and for nearly eights years I took, as prescribed, over five milligrams a day.
I began to experience a disturbing trend. When I would miss a dose, as I would on occasion, very unfortunate things would happen, The withdrawals, just over short intervals, were very unpleasant: headaches, shakes, disorientation and nervousness.
After several years of this routine, I felt like I needed a change. I decided to cease the rollercoaster I’d been on for so long. However, I’d had a little taste of klonopin withdrawal and I was terrified of a prolonged withdrawal syndrone. I met with my psychiatrist again who prescribed me some medications to, as he said, ease the pain of the process. I was instructed to cut one milligram every week. By following this plan I would be benzodazepine free within six weeks.
I began the reduction schedule and things got hairy fast. I was a university student at the time. But after a few weeks, when I was down to 3 milligrams daily, the withdrawal syndrome became untolerable. I suffered from horrendous diarrhea, had difficulty breathing, my vision became impaired, and I went 48 hour stretches without sleep.
I withdrew from my school, though I would return the following fall and eventually earn my degree, and began consuming alcohol with regularity. Things were difficult. Words can not describe how straining that period was.
In a short while I had adjusted to three milligrams. My anxiety disorder still reared its nasty head from time to time, but it wasn’t a greater problem than it had been when I was on six milligrams. It made me wonder why I was even on the klonopin in the first place. Why did I have to go through that withdrawal episode? And, in due time, I decided that it was time to completely discontinue the klonopin treatments.
Attacking anxiety was taking it’s toll on me, unfortunately, by this time I was a total benzodiazepine addict. I did not abuse the drugs to get a high. But I needed to have my pills. Every day. Without exceptions. Still fearful from the terrible withdrawal experience, I sought professional assistance to medically and safely detox from the benzos.
I checked into a detox center and over fourteen days I was given barbituates to help control the klonopin withdrawal symptoms. This was in November of 2007. For the past year, I have been free of benzodiazepines and the withdrawal has been more manageable, though still very unpleasant.
To this day, I am just beginning to I feel “normal.” The doctors told me that my system, due to the length of time I had been regularly taking the benzos, would require 12-18 months to normalize.
I wish I never started the klonopin in the first place because getting off them has been such a difficulty. I still have 6 months to a year of slow withdrawal to look forward to because these drugs put my system so out of order.
I know, this drug is commonly prescribed today, but I wonder if the costs of the klonopin withdrawal syndrome outweigh the benefits.
[...] of challenges. (I ended up being on the klonopin for many more years, but that is the subject of another post.) And I was just so frustrated. Anxiety was ruining my life. I wondered if I would be a prisoner to [...]
I feel your pain. I’ve been on psych meds for 21 years – forced to get on them at 14 years old. 10 of those years was on Klonopin. I’m 9 months free from all meds and the aniexty is pretty well controlled, but the physical stuff is kicking my butt. I am having ocd thinking, too, which I never had until I withdrew from this crap…
I am glad to hear you are better and hope things continue to get better.