When I struggled with anxiety I struggled with outcomes. I believed that certain things would embarrass me or humiliate me and I was terrified that I would look like a fool or be made fun of. This was one way that my anxiety manifested itself. Another way was that I had disturbing thoughts about hurting someone else and I also got anxious thinking about death and finally I thought that something bad might happen to me. I would think about these things and I would become anxious to the point of having panic attacks. And I would deal with anxiety by retreating to my apartment where I would sit by myself sometimes drinking alcohol. Does this sound familiar to any of you? I struggled with social anxiety and every other form and it was absolutely crippling. However I did some research on how to deal with anxiety and started to take advice. What I learned was very disappointing. I did not overcome my anxiety by following the so-called experts advice. It simply didn’t help and I believe it is a complete sham of an industry the so-called anxiety cure industry. The anxiety experts recommend that you overcome anxiety by correcting your thinking errors and using DBT techniques like distraction or relaxation to diminish distress. In my opinion these techniques are a complete joke and not only do they not work but they are dangerous because they are so ineffective.

Overcoming your anxiety requires that you regulate the release of chemicals in your brain. If you think you are going to be able to achieve this by reading the Feeling Good Handbook or some other such tripe, I have some bad news for you. You are never going to overcome your anxiety. Folks, things have to get worse before they will get better. Whatever you are afraid of, whatever it is that gives you anxiety, you are going to have to come around and face it if you ever want to get over it. How do you face it and start overcoming anxiety. It is not complicated but at the same time it is not easy. It will be among the most distressing things that you ever do because your anxiety (if it is like my anxiety which it probably is) is caused by fear of outcomes or consequences. Now, you don’t need to go and experience the outcome that you are terrified to get over your anxiety concerning it. That is simply a terrible idea. But what you do need to do is to get the point that you simply don’t care if that outcome does happen or not. How do you do that. This is very important and the most important thing I can ever tell you regarding overcoming anxiety.

You start overcoming anxiety by not caring!

Let me say that again in case you aren’t with me thus far.

You start overcoming anxiety by not caring!

So, let’s look at that statement and see what I mean. In my case I was afraid of many things. But let’s just take one. I had anxiety in social situations because I felt like other people were in some way superior to me and that in any interaction I would only embarrass myself which was simply terrifying so I had awful anxiety symptoms when being around people, especially strangers or people I did not know that well. Well, first let me say, that today I simply do not have the anxiety around people that I used to in those situations. I don’t have it all. Now, have I found some sort of anxiety cure? In a way yes, but it’s not a pill or anything like that. Let’s return to my example and I will show you what I did to overcome anxiety in that circumstance.

So, I’ve got to interact with someone socially and I’m terrified. I don’t want them to see that I am anxious. I want to do a good job in this interaction because let’s face it having social anxiety is embarrassing. But the problem is that by fearing the outcome or consequence my anxiety only gets worse. So, what I started to do, is simply not care about my anxiety. Now, what does that mean. I realized that life was short, the universe was large and by and large nobody really cared that I had anxiety. So, I came to conclusion that I wouldn’t care either. And when I would interact with that stranger I would still be anxious as hell but I just wouldn’t care. So what. I embarrassed myself, well life is too short to worry about that. I just realized that my anxiety is not that important. And the thing is I stopped caring about embarrassing myself. And do you know what happened? Nothing at first, I still had all the anxiety that I ever had. I still embarrassed myself in social situations but I just didn’t care. I didn’t see it as embarrassing. But, for a while, because I was still having anxiety, I didn’t see this as a breakthrough. However, as the months went by and I still did not care that I had anxiety, I noticed that my anxiety began to diminish. I realized that I was getting better, not caring was diminishing my anxiety. I suffered less and less anxiety each time, and I realized that I was overcoming anxiety. It was a remarkable feeling, that I was able to breathe free and easy for the first time.

I overcame anxiety by simply not caring that I had it. Now, I don’t know how clear this point is and I know I haven’t explained the exact technique that I used to overcome anxiety however I just really want to bang home the key point: I overcame anxiety by not caring that I had it.

We will be coming back to this point again and again because it is the key point in dealing with anxiety and I don’t care what the so-called experts who have never overcame anxiety (and I mean severe crippling anxiety) in their life. Well, I have overcome it and I am simply going to continue to tell you how I did it. So, things will become more clear in time, and I hope you will continue to visit this site while I develop these ideas. Just remember that even with my techniques you will not overcome anxiety quickly. It will take time I can assure you. However, in time, you can overcome your anxiety completely and never have to deal with it again.